Life is not easy. No one carelessly floats along on a puffy cloud, eluding all adversity unscathed. Every human journey demands perseverance to weather the inevitable storms when they blot out the sunshine and rainbows. When we encounter distress and hardship, resilience help us process and overcome.
Health Effects of Resilience
Canadian author, Shane Koyczan, wrote, “If your heart is broken, make art with the pieces.” Without resilience, stress and anxiety can be overwhelming, leading to depression and unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as abuse of alcohol and drugs. By contrast, resilience offers recognition of the good, allowing us to repurpose negative situations through a positive lens. With this more optimistic orientation, we tend to develop the enhanced problem-solving capabilities that lead to a superior quality of life. Resilience people are more likely to rely on healthy coping mechanisms (such as exercise and prayer) to withstand the dark forces that attack us mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically, physically, and spiritually. By avoiding the pitfalls of unhealthy coping mechanisms (such as drugs and alcohol), our immune systems become stronger, which can help us age more gracefully.
Self-Learned Resilience
American author, Greg Kincaid, wrote, “No matter how much falls on us, we keep plowing ahead. That’s the only way to keep the roads clear.” How do we develop resilience? While there is a genetic element, resilience is not an immutable, “we either have it or we don’t have it” character trait. We can always tap into the bonus level is often referred to as self-learned resilience.
If we find ourselves reeling after getting our proverbial butt whooped, we have to find a way to hunker down and tap into our strengths and support systems. Anyone can overcome challenges and work through problems, we only need to choose the right approach. Building self-learned resilience requires concerted effort. Identify our struggle, recognize which resources are available for perseverance or self-improvement, muster up the courage, and adopt the relentless mindset to do whatever it takes. American businesswoman and philanthropist, Sheryl Sandberg, wrote, “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” After determining precisely what ails us, hunt down resources to overcome. Be inspired. Do not take no for an answer; someone, somewhere, somehow has encountered what we are facing, and they have survived.
Put Your Problem in Proper Perspective
American Author, Gregory S. Williams, wrote, “On the other side of a storm is the strength that comes from having navigated through it. Raise your sail and begin.” As we navigate trials and tribulations, acknowledge, and meditate on these six facts:
- Every living human being has problems.
- Every problem has a limited life span.
- Every problem holds positive possibilities.
- Every problem will change you.
- You can choose what your problem will do to you.
- There is a negative and positive response to every problem.
Summary
As we climb mountains and descend valleys, we experience conflict, sadness, and disappointment. Humans are born with only one coping mechanism: the ability to cry. As we grow, the support and guidance of loving parents and inspirational mentors can help us learn to repurpose pain into potential.
“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”
—Philippians 4:13 KJV
A Perfectly Messed-Up Story by Patrick McDonnell
(2 – 5 years)
Little Louie’s story keeps getting messed up, and he’s not happy about it! What’s the point of telling his tale if he can’t tell it perfectly? But when he stops and takes a deep breath, he realizes that everything is actually just fine, and his story is a good one–imperfections and all.
After the Fall (How Humpty Dumpty Got Back Up Again) by Dan Santat
(3 – 8 years)
Everyone knows that when Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. But what happened after?
Emmanuel’s Dream by Laurie Ann Thompson (5 – 9 years)
Born with one deformed leg, he was dismissed by most people—but not by his mother, who taught him to reach for his dreams. As a boy, Emmanuel hopped to school more than two miles each way, learned to play soccer, left home at age thirteen to provide for his family, and, eventually, became a cyclist. He rode an astonishing four hundred miles across Ghana in 2001, spreading his powerful message: disability is not inability.
It is the rise from falling that Brown takes as her subject in Rising Strong. What do these people with strong and loving relationships, leaders nurturing creativity, artists pushing innovation, and clergy walking with people through faith and mystery have in common? The answer was clear: They recognize the power of emotion and they’re not afraid to lean in to discomfort.
Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy
by Sheryl Sandberg
Resilience comes from deep within us and from support outside us. Option B illuminates how to help others in crisis, develop compassion for ourselves, raise strong children, and create resilient families.
The Most Magnificent Thing by Ashley Spires
(3 – 7 years)
This funny book exemplifies the rewards of perseverance and creativity. The girl’s frustration and anger are vividly depicted in the detailed art, and the story offers good options for dealing honestly with these feelings, while at the same time reassuring children that it’s okay to make mistakes.
Lubna and Pebble by Wendy Meddour, illustrated by Daniel Egnéus (4 – 8 years)
This emotionally stirring and stunningly illustrated picture book explores one girl’s powerful act of friendship in the midst of an unknown situation.
Out of My Mind by Sharon Draper (9 – 12 years)
Eleven-year-old Melody is not like most people. She can’t walk. She can’t talk. She can’t write. All because she has cerebral palsy. But she also has a photographic memory; she can remember every detail of everything she has ever experienced. She’s the smartest kid in her whole school, but NO ONE knows it. Most people—her teachers, her doctors, her classmates—dismiss her as mentally challenged because she can’t tell them otherwise. But Melody refuses to be defined by her disability. And she’s determined to let everyone know it…somehow.
Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness
by Rick Hanson
True resilience is much more than enduring terrible conditions. We need it every day to raise a family, cope with stress, heal from old pain, and simply keep on going.
Scars Like Wings
by Erin Stewart
“A heartfelt and unflinching look at the reality of being a burn survivor and at the scars we all carry. This book is for everyone, burned or not, who has ever searched for a light in the darkness.” –Stephanie Nielson
PLEASE NOTE: As an Amazon Associate, Mothers Truly Matter earns from qualifying purchases. The information in this post should not be construed as providing specific psychiatric, psychological, or medical advice, but rather to offer readers information to better understand the lives and health of themselves and their children. It is not intended to provide an alternative to professional treatment or to replace the services of a physician, psychiatrist, or psychotherapist.
