In a series of surveys, American psychologist, Dr. Tasha Eurich, confirmed that while 95% of people think they’re self-aware, only 10-15% truly are. No one is perfect. We all have blind spots. As we consider whether we are actually self-aware, take a moment to reflect on the evidence from Eurich’s surveys.

Benefits of Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is positively correlated with emotional intelligence, empathy, and compassion. As we become more self-aware, our friendships get stronger, largely because improved self-awareness is accompanied by improved communication skills. As we illuminate aspects of our lives previously cloaked by reduced visibility, we make better, more informed, and more intelligent choices. Deep and profound levels of self-awareness boost personal and professional capabilities exponentially.

Internal Self-Awareness
The first of the two types of self-awareness is internal, focusing on what drives us from within. This ever-evolving progression recognizes how our attitudes, values, passions, strengths, weaknesses, and aspirations all come together to guide our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

External Self-Awareness
The second type of self-awareness is external, focusing on what others see when they look at us, examining how we are perceived by the world around us.

Intention & “Why” vs Impact & “What”
In nearly every aspect of abstract thought, answers to “Why” provide deeper context and more meaningful insights than answers to “What.” With self-awareness, “Why” reflects on motivations. “What” reflects on the impact we derive through introspection and the inevitable course corrections we make as specific areas for improvement are illuminated during the self-awareness journey.

Helping Children Develop Self-Awareness
Learning to be self-aware is a very difficult process; there is no one-size-fits-all approach. We all have different lives and every person’s brain is wired differently. With children, we can start with the basics, helping them recognize their strengths and weaknesses. Over time, children learn that the way they treat others impacts how others treat them.

Children learn far more from mom’s actions than they do our words. If we want them to join the minority who enjoy the benefits of self-awareness, pursue it and model it in our own lives. Speak beyond merely strengths and weaknesses, dive into the good stuff; any relevant tendencies, idiosyncrasies, or proclivities that may serve us or be a disservice given the situation at hand. If nurturing self-awareness is going to happen, mom can only water seeds if they are first planted.

When we experience anger or frustration, talk about those feelings and our plan to manage them. Tell children, with equal parts calmness and brevity, “I am enraged right now, and this is why. I’m going to leave the room and come back when I’m calm.” Let them see us processing our thoughts as we pray or practice mindfulness on our path to healthy response management.

When children face adversity, they often ask mom to help fix things. If they are capable, do they learn more or less when we rescue them? Every scenario is different; it’s healthy for kids when mom guides them but allows them to work problems through for themselves. Teach them to take a pause before reacting, that taking a step back can help us compartmentalize problems into smaller, more manageable pieces.

If they’re really stumped, share a few words that dance around potential solutions. Witness their delight during the moment that a previously foreign concept suddenly makes sense. As they grow, foster their curiosity by asking open-ended questions that provoke deeper levels of though. Give them the confidence that they can always come to us for guidance, and let the solution be theirs.

Experience & Power Hinder Self-Awareness
By seeing ourselves as wise and experienced, we invite complacency and overconfidence. We can enhance our capabilities by reading Insight by Dr. Tasha Eurich and Self-Awareness by Harvard Business Review.

People in positions of power tend to overestimate their skills and abilities. Compound that with this: the more powerful the leader, the less likely that people will be comfortable giving constructive feedback, for fear it could hurt their careers. With fewer people to be candid, it is incumbent on folks who are in positions of power to find ways to solicit unbridled feedback from people who have their best interests in mind. If there are no trusted confidants, anonymous surveys can capture the raw data needed to help folks in the highest levels of leadership continuously pursue self-improvement via self-awareness.

Summary
With an open mind, invest energy in what can be learned. Don’t deny constructive feedback. Don’t rationalize. Sometimes, we are so close to something that we cannot see clearly, unknowingly buying-in to our own false narrative. By striving to understand things from multiple perspectives, we can lift the fog of bias and reap the rewards of clarity.

“Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine. Test yourselves. Surely you know that Jesus Christ is among you; if not, you have failed the test of genuine faith.” —2 Corinthians 13:5 NLT