Parenting a child with special needs presents a unique set of rules and rewards. Actor Christopher Reeve, who played the role of Superman and was later paralyzed said, “Once you choose hope, anything’s possible.”
We Are Not Alone
According to the CDC, approximately 17% of children aged three through seventeen have one or more developmental disabilities. We might not find anyone with precisely the same symptoms, but lots of families have children who experience similar challenges. To the extent that it might be helpful, seeking them out might allow us to help each other, developing a network of mutually supportive new friends.
Individualized Education Programs (IEPs)
Individualized education programs (IEPs) are offered free of charge to families of children in public schools: a wealth of support services to help children succeed academically. Parents and guardians work with educators to customize and implement a flexible child-centered plan to support the learning journey.
Understanding Our Child’s Precise Needs
In some cases, getting our child’s behavior under control can be overwhelming. Connect with local professionals who are trained specifically in our child’s particular condition to gain insights. There are authors who have dedicated their lives to mastery of challenges associated with our child’s particular diagnosis. By immersing ourselves in all available resources, we can study the factual groundwork that has already been laid to optimally understand nuances, tendencies, motivations, and best practices. As we strive to be the best parents possible, knowledge truly is power.
Trust Your Instincts
A mother knows her child best. Doctors, teachers, and therapists are all important resources, but if we don’t feel that our child’s needs are being met, get a second opinion. While the professionals are experts in their specific disciplines, mom is the expert on her child.
Mom Needs Mom Time
Good mothers are constantly caring for their families. If we don’t take care of ourselves, our capacity to care for others is diminished. Mom cannot serve from an empty well. It is so important to specifically carve out personal time. It’s not selfish, it is needed. Rejuvenated by doing things we enjoy, we receive a sense of inner peace, a clearer mind, and a calmer heart, all of which help us be a better mother.
Being a mother to a child with special needs is part of us, but it is not our entire identity. When we focus all our resources on our child and their needs, it can be easy to lose sight of who we are. Neither we nor our children can afford for that to happen.
Do Not Judge Them
Children with special needs commonly perceive unfamiliar surroundings as unpredictable or even hostile. They might get angry, scream, cry, or throw a temper tantrum. As we parent them, we are also parenting their condition. It’s important that we maintain a calm and collected attitude; children develop into the totality of what they observe. With nurturing, deliberation, and a non-judgmental attitude, we can help to develop and build upon their strengths.
Superhero Parents
Every day, we navigate situations that ordinary parents might not believe are possible. We administer medications, manage doctor’s appointments, injections, infusions, and hysteria. We survive explosive tantrums and legendary meltdowns, all while somehow maintaining our sanity. We fulfill so many duties: mother, therapist, nurse, doctor, friend, and confidante—we are a superhero.
Super parents tend to be extremely busy. While everything on the schedule is important, make time to play, laugh, be silly, and just enjoy each other. Snuggle with them, read to them, engage their interests and the things that are important in their world.
Nobody is Perfect
It is difficult to choose between a rock and a hard place. Even with the most reliable intel and the very best intentions, every single parent makes mistakes. Torturing ourselves won’t make us feel better, and it won’t help us make better decisions. American author, Mary Anne Radmacher, wrote, “Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow!” Despite the extra challenges of raising a child with special needs, the successes can be that much more rewarding.
Don’t Compare
Children are all different; comparing them is almost never helpful. Sometimes, a well-meaning stranger asks us a question that has us backpedaling. Without proper context, some folks just don’t get it. All children grow and develop on their own timelines. Some skills come later in life; some are never mastered. Whatever the milestone, celebrate it with family and loved ones.
Summary
Whether or not our child has special needs, parenting is hard work. We must always do our best. American educator Rita Pierson wrote, “Every child deserves a champion—an adult who will never give up on them, who understands the power of connection and insists that they become the best that they can possibly be.”
“And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth. And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.” —John 9:1-3 KJV
ADHD
ADHD 2.0
by Edward Hallowell
Most people have heard of ADHD. Lost in the discussion is the potential upside: Many successful entrepreneurs and highly creative people attribute their achievements to ADHD.
ASPERGER’S
Asperger’s and Adulthood
by Blythe Grossberg PsyD
Even with Asperger’s, you can do whatever you put your mind to—and Asperger’s and Adulthood outlines the tools and strategies to help you achieve a full and rewarding adult life.
BIPOLAR
Bipolar Disorder: A Guide for You and Your Loved Ones by Dr. Francis Mark Mondimore
Dr. Francis Mondimore’s pathbreaking guide has helped thousands of people and their loved ones cope with bipolar disorder.
CEREBRAL PALSY
Cerebral Palsy: A Complete Guide for Caregiving
by Freeman Miller MC & Steven Jackson MD
When their child has cerebral palsy, parents need answers. They seek up-to-date advice they can count on to make sure their child has the best possible health and well-being. The new edition is thoroughly revised to incorporate the latest medical thinking, including advances in diagnosis, treatment, and terminology.
DEAFNESS
How Deaf Children Learn
by Marc Marschark & Peter Hauser
How Deaf Children Learn provides a wealth of advice on how we can best support deaf student’s language development, social skills, and academic success.
DEPRESSION
Feeling Great by David Burns
Feeling Great is based on 40 years of research and 40,000+ hours treating individuals with severe depression. The goal is not just an elimination of negative feelings, but to inspire joy and enlightenment.
DYSCALCULIA
Dyscalculia: from Science to Education
by Brian Butterworth
An essential resource for teachers, professionals, parents and sufferers, as well as for university courses that include specific learning disabilities.
EATING DISORDERS
Freed & Fierce
by Kara Holmes
Are you ready to begin recovery, but have no idea where to start? Does fear of weight gain & all the options available overwhelm you, keeping you stuck where you’re at? Wouldn’t it be great if you had access to a recovery resource that works and left you feeling confident with how to get there and stay well?
This book is a must for any parent or caregiver with a child affected by FASD and any professional providing support services.
OPPOSITIONAL DEFIANCE DISORDER
Beyond Behaviors
by Mona Delahooke
In Beyond Behaviors, internationally known pediatric psychologist, Dr. Mona Delahooke describes behaviors as the tip of the iceberg, important signals that we should address by seeking to understand a child’s individual differences in the context of relational safety.
PARALYSIS
The Gift of Adversity
by Marcus Aurelius Anderson
After dying on the operating table twice, the surgeons saved his life, but told him he’d never walk again. Marcus tells his inspiring story and lessons learned from overcoming pain and paralysis to find purpose.
POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
by Pete Walker
This book is a practical, user-friendly guide to recovering from the lingering effects of childhood trauma, and to achieving a rich and fulfilling life.
SICKLE CELL ANEMIA
Understanding Sickle Cell Disease by Miriam Bloom
This book was written for all who are interested in this disease―those who have it, their families, the carriers of the sickle cell gene, teachers, and those who wish to update their information about it, exploring the variety of symptoms in both children and adults and details the emotional aspects of the disease. Of particular interest is a chapter on the care, especially the home care, of those who are affected.
TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY
Chicken Soup for the Soul: Recovering from Traumatic Brain Injuries by Amy Newmark & Dr Carolyn Roy-Bornstein
This collection of stories provides support, advice, and inspiration to help you and your loved ones on your road to recovery from traumatic brain injuries.
TYPE 1 DIABETES
Type 1 Diabetes for the Newly Diagnosed by Areil Warren
This guide on coming to terms and living with type 1 diabetes is packed with helpful information. From tracking your blood sugar to counting carbs, you’ll find everything you need to live an self-assured, happy, healthy life.
ANXIETY
Unwinding Anxiety
by Judson Brewer
A step-by-step plan clinically proven to break the cycle of worry and fear that drives anxiety and addictive habits.
AUTISM
What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic by Annie Kotowicz
What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic will inspire autistic people and those who love them, offering help and hope to anyone seeking a deeper understanding of the autism spectrum.
BLINDNESS
Thriving Blind
by Kristin Smedley
In Thriving Blind, readers will see blindness in a whole new light. The compelling and entertaining stories will not only change perceptions of blindness, they’ll make readers forget the people featured are actually blind.
Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes it is the voice saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”
DEAF / BLINDNESS
Deaf-Blind Reality: Living the Life by Scott Stoffel
Deaf-Blind Reality offers genuine understanding of the unspectacular but altogether daunting challenges of daily life for deaf-blind people.
DOWN SYNDROME
The Parent’s Guide to Down Syndrome by Jennifer Jacob & Mardra Sikora
As a parent of a child diagnosed with Down syndrome, you may be feeling unsure of what to do next or where your child’s journey will take you. Each page teaches you ways to support your child through major milestones; nurture their development; and ensure that they succeed behaviorally, socially, and cognitively.
DYSLEXIA
The Dyslexia Empowerment Plan by Ben Foss
Finally, a groundbreaking book that reveals what your dyslexic child is experiencing—and what you can do so that he or she will thrive.
DYSGRAPHIA
Handwriting Brain-Body DisConnect by Cheri Dotterer
From Response to Intervention to the Individualized Education Program, this book provides strategies readers can use at a moment’s notice.
EPILEPSY
Epilepsy in Children by Orrin Devinsky, Erin Conway, & Courtney Schnabel Glick
When a child is first diagnosed, it’s a bleak, isolating time for families. This book sheds light in the darkest corners and gives parents a crucial playbook to help both their children and themselves. The authors leverage their medical, nursing, and nutrition backgrounds to address the most difficult issues with a uniquely collaborative approach. It’s a game changer.
OBSESIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER
The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD by Jon Hershfield & Tom Corboy
If you’re ready to take back your life back from OCD—and start living with more joy in the moment—this workbook has everything you need to get started right away.
ORTHOPEDIC IMPAIRMENT
Limitless
by Mallory Weggemann
On January 21, 2008, a routine medical procedure left Mallory paralyzed from her waist down. Mallory’s extraordinary resilience and uncompromising commitment to excellence are rooted in her resolve, her faith, and her sheer grit. In Limitless, Mallory shares the lessons she learned by pushing past every obstacle and expectation that stood in her way.
PHYSICAL DISABILITY
More the Same than Different
by Lorraine Cannistra
A practical guide for anyone who may not have much experience interacting with people with disabilities and wants to feel more comfortable.
SCHIZOPHRENIA
Surviving Schizophrenia
by E. Fuller Torrey
An indispensable guide for those afflicted by schizophrenia as well as those who care for them, Surviving Schizophrenia covers every aspect of the condition and sheds new light on an often-misunderstood illness.
SPEECH IMPAIRMENT
Life on Delay: Making Peace with a Stutter
by John Hendrickson
Hendrickson guides readers through the evolution of speech therapy, the controversial quest for a “magic pill” to end stuttering, and the burgeoning self-help movement within the stuttering community. Life on Delay is an indelible account of perseverance, a soulful narrative about not giving up, and a glimpse into the process of making peace with our past and present selves.
TYPE 2 DIABETES
Managing Type 2 Diabetes For Dummies by American Diabetes Association
By consulting with your doctors, modifying your diet, staying active, and understanding what medications are right for you, you’re on the path to a happier and healthier lifestyle.
PLEASE NOTE: As an Amazon Associate, Mothers Truly Matter earns from qualifying purchases. The information in this post should not be construed as providing specific psychiatric, psychological, or medical advice, but rather to offer readers information to better understand the lives and health of themselves and their children. It is not intended to provide an alternative to professional treatment or to replace the services of a physician, psychiatrist, or psychotherapist.
